April 2nd, 2009

Being called an idiot tends to take people out of the dating mood.
–Buffy Sommers

I feel bad for Meghan McCain. It’s part of my larger thing of feeling bad for anyone who’s dating nowadays.

One extreme fan of my mother’s recently told me I could be “his Cindy.” And then asked me if I ever wore pearls because they probably would look as good on me as they do on my mother. No, I’m not kidding. Any guy that has a fetish for older women in pantsuits and large pearls obviously only finds my last name attractive about me.

Let me give you some advice, ok?

You’re perfectly justified to find this sort of stuff to be a bit creepy; it really is poor form. On the other hand, your mom is pretty hot for her age, and she’s into cars. So, you know, try to look on the bright side.

Another thing you might want to consider: there are even creepier things you can hear on a date. Let me list a few for you:

      3. Everyone gets blindfolded the first time they come here.
    2. It rubs the lotion on its skin. It does this whenever it’s told.

(If we’re going with Silence of the Lambs lines, if someone ever quotes Multiple Miggs to you immediately remain in a public location until the authorities arrive).

    1. You know, I’ve got this brunette wig and these librarian glasses that would look great on you!
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